The 100 Best Films of the Decade, Part 2

90. Casino Royale (2006) - Daniel Craig might not look like 007 in some of the eyes of the fanboys our there, but to me, he is the embodiment of the James Bond psyche: an emotionally detached, arrogant, narcissistic killing machine. Here, in this reboot of the Bond franchise, Craig nails Bond's world to the letter. Let's not forget that after the awful The World Is Not Enough, and the disappointing Die Another Day, Casino Royale is the best-looking - and most exciting - Bond picture since Goldeneye.

89. Thirteen (2003) - If Mean Girls was a satirical look on the pressures of emerging womanhood in high school, Catherine Hardwicke's '03 debut about a straight-lace good girl gone off the deep end bad is the in-your face realism of growing up through the eyes of a teenage girl. Evan Rachel Wood is stunning as Tracy, the protagonist transformed into every parent's nightmare: an out-of-control, drug fueled wild-child that's slowing deteriorating on the inside.

88. Team America: World Police (2004) It's probably the most outrageous puppet film ever made. It figures that South Park bad boys Trey Parker and Matt Stone would somehow take a satirical approach of America's destructive need to police the world after 9/11 and infuse puppet sex, lampoon Susan Sarandon and Sean Penn (among others) for taking themselves way too seriously, and have North Korean dictator Kim Jong Il singing a heartfelt ballad, "I'm So Ronley."

87. Gangs Of New York (2002) - Before watching this stunning period drama from Martin Scorsese, I have never watched any of his films, and I hated Leonardo DiCaprio with a burning passion. Almost three hours later, I walked out as a fan of Scorsese's splendid mastery of his craft, and of DiCaprio's emergence as an actor, and not some pretty-boy hack who gets boned in almost every role he's in. The triumph is in how Marty's vision of the immigrant experience in 19th century America is presented: production designer Dante Feretti, editor Thelma Schoonmaker, and cinematographer Michael Ballhaus,and actors DiCaprio, Daniel-Day Lewis, Cameron Diaz, John C.Reilly, etc) all paint this visually striking and unforgettable story of people carving out their piece of America by whatever means necessary.

86. Ratatouille (2007) - The story of a rat named Remy (voiced by Patton Oswald) with a passion to set the Paris restaurant scene ablaze with his cooking skills sounds like a shitty, cliche-riddled after school special on Playhouse Disney. If you're writer-director Brad Bird and the wizards at Pixar Animation Studios, it's a gorgeous, funny and touching love letter to Paris, France that's sealed with a kiss, and yet one of five movies from the studio that takes it's place upon my list.

85. My Big, Fat Greek Wedding (2002) - The movie that opened my eyes to the independent movie scene. And what a way to do it: Star and screenwriter Nina Vardalos shows us the insanity of a family during the lead up to Toula Portokalos'(Vardalos) wedding to non-Greek vegan Ian Miller (a charming John Corbett). Sure, the jokes are corny and repetitive, but the love between Nina and John's character's is genuinely real and touching.

84. Where The Wild Things Are (2009) - Maurice Sendak's short tale of childhood imagination is a beloved children's story that stays with both parent and child who read it. In director Spike Jonze's hands, its a thrilling and emotional powerhouse story of Max (a hellva performance from 12 year-old Max Records) and his imagination escaping to an island where Wild Things rule without rules of boundaries after a fight with his divorced mother (a terrific Catherine Keener) and new beau (Mark Ruffalo). Jonze, along with co-writer Dave Eggers, and cinematographer Lance Acord capture Max's wild world and the creatures who inhabit it the same as the entire movie: like a boy filled with emotions that he can't explain.

83. Training Day (2001) - For the longest time, I've always seen Denzel Washington as playing the protagonist. Boy was it thrilling to watch Washington play a dirty cop in Alonzo Harris, teeter-totting between training Jake Hoyt (a great Ethan Hawke) and collecting money for the Russian Mafia to pin a murder on someone. The standoff between Hawke and Washington towards the film's end is as explosive as any gunfight director Antoine Fuqua delivers in this tale of crime and consequences, the narc officer who doesn't know up from down, and doesn't much care anymore.

82. 28 Days Later (2003) - In Danny Boyle's post-apocalyptic London, a virus unleashed onto the citizens doesn't make the infected traditionally slow, monotone, and devour brains. These fuckers are fast, they go for the arteries, and make noises like diseased dogs released from hell. Unlike most horror films, 28 Days Later sets a new watermark in taking you on a wild and frighting ride through the end of civilization by pummeling the viewer with danger lurking in ever empty corner and hitting you hard, fast, and often with zombie-shredding violence. Have fun going to sleep afterwords.

81. Spider-Man (2002) - It was the superhero movie that could be campy, but have a soul and a solid storyline also. Kudos to director Sam Rami and screenwriter David Koepp for displaying to everyone how to make an enjoyable summer popcorn film that doesn't sacrifice outstanding action pieces and excellent visual effects for story and character development.

Worst. Vampire. Movie. Ever.

A little story about how tonight was supposed to go: mother and I wanted to go to the local movie theater. What to see?

Up In The Air?, In limited release (L.A., New York, etc.).

Fantastic Mr. Fox? Loved it, didn't start until 7:10. Mom didn't want to wait that long.

Precious? Wasn't playing there, and I'm not in the mood for a downer film at this time of year.

My suggestion to our dilemma? Watch, for the third time, Quentin Tarantino's excellent Inglorious Basterds. Easily one of -- if not -- my favorite film of 2009.

There we are, standing in line, and i'm about to watch Brad Pitt butcher the Italian language in front of the movie's real bastard, Col. Hans "the Jew Hunter" Lander (Christoeph Waltz, in a deliciously evil performance that will earn him a Best Supporting Actor statuette in March)...not to mention, Tarantino's own ultimate butcher job - the outcome of World War 2, where instead of Hitler and his floozy hiding out in a bunker while the Allied troops begin their march on Berlin, du fuhrer gets a hailstorm of bullets to the face (along with the higher-ups in the Nazi high command) while watching a propaganda picture.

"Welcome to the Regal, what movie would you like to see?" says the employee working the box office.

"Two military for New Moon, at 6:35."

I stared at my mother, at a loss for words.

In a heartbeat, she decides to drag me into a two plus hour teen/emo/vampire soap opera that I hated the first go around with Twilight. Now, here I am, again, about to enter a world where vampires glitter in the sunlight, where moping is a national pastime in the sleepy town of Forks, Washington, and where annoying middle-school girls blatantly ignore the commercials that ask the audience to silence their cell phones and scream at the sight of two, wooden Abercrombie & Fitch models as they're about to engage in the movie's many money shots.

Somewhere in The Twilight Saga: New Moon, as Bella Swan (Kristen Stewart) goes through the motions of losing her beloved vampire lover Edward Cullen (Robert Pattinson) - and, when I mean going through the motions, I mean the stuff most normal teenage girls would do when they get dumped: dive off a cliff into the ocean, take a ride home from a slimy biker looking to get some barely teenage pussy, and squeal like a pig that's about to become someone's Christmas dinner - I had a burning desire to stand up and tell the young, female audience the inconvenient truth about Ms. Swan: that's she's a crazy, clingy woman who needs to get some psychiatric help and find better taste in men!

Consider the evidence: In Twilight she dates a 109 year-old vampire who's relatives and beau want to feast on her flesh. In the second installment to Stephanie Meyer's worldwide best selling books, she's hanging out with a pack of werewolves that could take half her face off if she gets them angry! Speaking of getting angry, there's a scene where Taylor Lautner's Jacob Black tells Alice Cullen, (Ashley Greene), in his "serious" tone, "Don't...make me angry!" Somewhere, Lou Ferrigno is wishing he could have gotten copy rights to his signature line on the TV version of The Incredible Hulk.

For all the talk about the Twilight series being the modern-day epic romance about two star-crossed lovers, New Moon is easily one of the most heartless romantic pictures to come along in a while. Take how Ed and Jacob face off towards the end, both ready to fight for Bella's affections. Who does Bella choose to be with? Surely it would be Jacob, the werewolf who brings her back from her severe bout of depression to a brighter form of melancholy, and all-around good chum, over Edward, the immortal 17 year-old vegan vampire who dumped Bella in the forest and left her there in the fetal position crying her eyes out, right?

Another example is how Bella continues to use Jacob like he's her personal tampon. Knowing that Jacob is good with repairing bikes, she brings him a beat-down motorcycle for him to repair. One might see this sequence as the two bonding. In reality, she just used him to see Edward's phantom pop up when she's acting like an adrenaline junkie, believing that seeing him like this is better than nothing at all. Except the new guy who's beginning to take a liking to you. And Meyer's Bella is supposed to be a positive role model for young girls? I'd rather them emulate Sarah Palin.

In the end, New Moon somehow manages to pull a double-whammy: its as boring and lifeless than the last installment, and damn-near reaches the idiot shallows of this summer's atrocious box-office champion, Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. The only reason this product-placement of a film avoids that dishonor is that it's unintentionally the funniest piece of filmmaking this year since The Hangover.

Did I forget to mention New Moon has made over $230 million at the box office, and the studio is set to release the next chapter of the Twilight franchise, Eclipse, next summer? God help us all.

1/2 stars out of ****

Week 12 observations in the NFL

* The Saints are the real McCoy. Any team that can fluster Tom Brady and lay out a convincing ass-kicking on national television must be taken seriously. The irony watching this game became profound to me: Had A.J. Smith stuck it out with Drew Brees, instead of dumping him because his arm injury he suffered at the end of the 2005 season, there would be Super Bowls XLI and XLII titles in San Diego...and possibly rival Belichick's Patriots as the team of the decade. Yes, I said XLII, because watching the way Brees played against the Pats when he was a Charger, and how he played them on Monday night, add to it the endless amounts of firepower San Diego has, from LT to Antonio Gates to Vincent Jackson, Brady would have gone down in the Championship game.

* The Patriots will win the AFC East. They'll probably take the 3rd or 4th seed in the playoff picture. They'll probably embarrass whichever Wild-Card team comes to Foxbrough in January. The praise will be on full blast: the team that no one wants to play in the postseason is back and we'll have the Rivalry of the Decade, Part 2 between Manning and Brady. Yada, yada, yada. Guess what? Not gonna happen. Why? The young, inexperienced secondary will be eaten alive by either the tandems of Carson Palmer/Chad "Ochocinco" or Phillip Rivers/whichever 6-foot wide receiver is open down-field in the Divisional round. Unless Belichick can get the Secondary up to snuff, New England will face an early exit from the playoffs.

* As we pick up our collective jaws off the floor with Vince Young's last-minute heroics against the Arizona Cardinals, the team that went from a shocking 0-6 start under Kerry Collins (the same Kerry Collins that took Young's spot last year and led the Titans to a NFL-best 13-3 record and homeland advantage through the playoffs), to an equally shocking 5-game dream run of a winning streak, and with it, talks of being a contender for the 6th seed in the postseason. As much as I love the story of football's comeback kid and his growing maturity we see in each game, Tennessee won't make the playoffs for two reasons: the Indianapolis Colts and the San Diego Chargers.

The 100 Best Films of the Decade, Part 1

Here we (almost) are. In 29 days, we're going to celebrate the first passing decade of the new millennium. As I said in September, I am going to part-take in a big endeavor: create my list of the 100 best films of the decade. And I have, with some debate on which movie should be placed where with the top 1-20. Anyways, here's part one of the top 100 films of the decade. Enjoy.

100. Mean Girls (2004) - Before Lindsay Lohan got involved with shots of vodka and blow, she was both a mega-babe and, talented to boot. Probably the best teen satire since Heathers and Clueless, this comedy takes us into the hellish jungle called high school and into the trenches of the warzone between Cady (Lohan), the new girl and the leader of the Plastics, Regina (the deliciously-evil Rachel McAdams). The verbal barbs, confrontations, and catfights bring a whole new meaning to the term, "hell hath no fury like a woman scorned." It also helps that SNL alumni Tina Fey penned the script with ferocious wit that hits with pin-point accuracy.

99. Kill Bill Vol. 2 (2004) - In Kill Bill Vol.1, Quentin Tarantino proved he could make an ultra-violent action epic with amazing style. What would he have in store for this time for The Bride (Uma Thurman) as she carries out her quest to kill the DIVAs (the Deadly Viper Assassination Squad) and head honcho Bill (the late and great David Carradine) who gunned her down and left her for dead? A return to Tarantino's bread-and-butter: wickedly delicious dialogue, outrageous humor, and a moving storyline hidden beneath the director's blood-splattering wake. Tarantino's Vol. 2 hits a new watermark in his amazingly short career of ten years (Reservoir Dogs, Pulp Fiction, Jackie Brown, Vol.1, and Grindhouse: Death Proof) where he takes ever B-level spaghetti western film, and every 1970's exploitation flick and combines it into one exciting time at the movies.

98. 8 Mile (2002) - When we think of Eminem, we see a controversial white rapper who spits lyrics like a machine gun turret. Fast, ferocious, and shoots everything and anything that dare moves, he's up there with Jay-Z, Tupac, Biggie, and Nas (to name a few) as of the best MC's in rap. Who would have thought we say this about Slim Shady: an acting powerhouse? In 8 Mile, Eminem's Jimmy "Rabbit" Smith holds the screen with the look of a man strapped with explosives, rigged to blow at a moment's notice. The same can be said about this rags-to-riches drama, minus the riches.

97. Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl (2003) - It's Johnny Depp as the willy, charming, and cunning Captain, Captain Jack Sparrow, savy. What more needs to be said?

96. Collateral (2004) - Jamie Foxx wowed audiences as Ray Charles in the biopic, Ray, but in Michael Mann's stylish and fast-paced thriller about a cold, calculating contract killer (Tom Cruise) making five stops in the sleek and haunting Los Angles nightlife, tagging with him an unsuspecting cab driver named Max, Foxx's performance is nothing short of a revelation, matching step-for-step with Cruise's electrifying Vincent. Using mostly digital cameras to film the City of Angels at dusk, Mann shoots it like the devil and his minions are lurking around every dark alley and every light-gleaming street.

95. Pride and Prejudice (2005) - To quote Mr. Darcy himself, "You have bewitched me, body and soul." By the end of this wonderful and soulful Jane Austin adaptation, you'll fall in love with Keria Knightley's strong-willed presence (and her sharper tongue) as Elizabeth Bennet, Matthew MacFadyen's arrogant and longing Mr. Darcy, and director Joe Wright's keen detail to bring 18th century British romance and playful eroticism to a 21st century female audience.

94. The 40 Year-Old Virgin (2005) - Before Judd Apatow and company took over movie comedy, his claim to fame was the underrated comedy series, Freaks and Geeks. Apatow's Andy Stitzer(the ever-funny Steve Carrel), is a big time geek. He's 40, single, doesn't drink, and has never had intercourse with another woman. His new buddies -- Romney Falco, Paul Rudd, and Seth Rogen make you laugh til it hurts -- spend the rest of the time trying to get him laid, with disastrous results (see a drunken Leslie Mann giving Andy a car-ride from hell). Virgin is drop-dead hilarious and has something few crude guy flicks have: heart and a smart screenplay which fully understands that making a relationship work is much harder that pleasing someone sexually.

93. Doubt (2008) - Watching Oscar winners Philip Seymore Hoffman and Merely Streep trade insults and verbal blows over Sister Aloysius's (Streep) feelings about a song being sung in a school play, to an accusation of Father Flynn (Hoffman) conducting in a suspicious manner with one of the students, is like watching two prize fighters slug it out for 15 rounds without a clear indication of a winner. Without giving the motives of both Flynn and Aloysius away, Doubt leaves you thinking and leaves both characters doubting their own faith.

92. O Brother, Where Art Thou? (2000) - If Homer's The Odyssey took place in the 1930's Depression-era South, had three dumb, but earnest criminals led by George Clooney, trying to return home to his wife, Penny (Holly Hunter), included three Southern bells with a knack for attracting traveling men, a Warren hunting em down and always wearing sunglasses, and discovering a amazing treasure (i'll never tell what it is), it would look something like Joel and Ethan Coen's darkly humorous tale of faith, friendship, and endless amounts of Dapper Dan hair products.

91. Star Trek (2009) - Or: How T.V. genius J.J. Abrams (Lost) resurrected a franchise that was picked bone dry by the buzzards. It's hard not to praise all the actors involved, mainly because all of them had a chance to shine, so I'll point out a few: first to Zachary Quinto for being the best damn Spock since Lenord Nimoy donned the pointy ears; Chris Pine for never losing the swagger and my-way-or-the-highway attitude that made James T. Kirk an awesome U.S.S. Enterprise captain; Karl Urban for being the entertaining medical officer Bones; and Simon Pegg for stealing the show as Scotty. The real hero is Abrams, for bringing excitement, feeling, and a sense of endless wonder back to a franchise drifting into the far reaches of space.

Week 11 observations in the NFL

* The next time Broncos rookie coach Josh McDaniels spits his game, his team better show up to play. McDaniels walked up to Chargers linebackers Shawne Merriman and Shaun Phillips and engaged in a little pregame smack-talking, saying, "we own you." Big mistake, as he later found out on the first drive when Phillips forces a strip from QB Chris Simms, only to be recovered by Saftey Steven Greggory, his first of two recovery fumbles on the game. That forced fumble was the beginning of San Diego's ass-whipping of the Broncos, 32-3 (yikes!), and the re-capture of the top spot in the AFC West Division. Another helpful tip for the young Belichick protege: when you lose your starting QB to an ankle injury and your backup hasn't played a full game since 2005, you really shouldn't be talking smack about your opponent.

* A show of hands, who here thought Sunday's most exciting game would come from a pair of 1-8 teams? This week's story wasn't about the power shift in the AFC west division, or how Indy and New Orleans are both 10-0, it was about the shootout at Ford Field between QB's Brady Quinn of the Browns and Matt Stanford of the Lions. Both young OB's threw for a combined 8 touchdowns and passed for a combined 726 passing yards. A few things we've learned in this game:
a.) both Quinn and Stafford have great potential. If these two can come out swinging like this later on down the road (and with the right set of offensive weapons), look out. These two would be scary to face every Sunday.
b.) despite a 2-8 record, Detroit fans finally have something to cheer about. For the first time in a long time, the Lions come out with a dramatic win, instead of coming out with another moral-crushing loss....one that will be toked about for months, even years, to come in a city that has become the poster child for how bleak the American economy is right now.
c.) Eric Mangini, for all intensive purposes, is probably the biggest bust to come out of the NFL since Ryan Leaf of my San Diego Chargers.

* Every year, there always seems to be a football team that catches lightning in a bottle and becomes the Cinderella story of the NFL. Last year, it was Kurt Warner and the Arizona Cardinals and their amazing postseason run that got them to Super Bowl XLIII. This year, its the re-emergence of Vince Young and the Titans, a team under backup Kerry Collins, wound up clinching the no.1 spot in the AFC playoff seeding last year, only to star a shocking 0-6 this season. After last night's win over the Houston Texans, Tennessee has won four straight games since Young was re-activated, and could possibly shock everyone and make a playoff push. Can they do the impossible and win out to make it a real horse race in the AFC Wild Card race? Don't bet on it. Next week, they face last year's NFC Champs Arizona (7-3), and the the unbeaten Colts (10-0) the week after. In fact, four of the remaining six games in the regular season, the opposing teams are playoff bound with five wins or more (Cardinals, Colts, Dolphins and Chargers). A tall order to fill for Young and RB Chris Johnson, and one I highly doubt they can overcome.

I guess this was unaviodable...(Redux)

Tonight all across the country, the multiplex will be overun with tweens, high school girls, and mothers who dig vampires and werewolves who are more Calvin Kline-type models than they are, you know - vampires and werewolves. That's right, the next chapter in the Twilight series, New Moon, is set to make some serious box office gold this weekend and nothing I, or any of the critics who say the film flat out tanks, will matter. Much like Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, this movie is critic-proof. For two hours and ten minutes, young girls will be staring at studly eye candy (with extra sappy teenage romance/angst and a splash of vampire and werewolf action thrown in).

Am I annoyed about hearing/reading about the relentless parade of movie news and what not? You bet. Do I really give a rat's ass about the rumors of lead actors Kirsten Stewart and teen heartthrob Robert Pattinson dating? Hardly. Am I going to be happy when this franchise joins with Hannah Montana, the Jonas Brothers, Pokemon, Yu-Gi-Oh!, and High School Musical in the trash bin of flash-in-the-pan pop culture hits of the moment? Hell, I probably won't even remember The Twilight Saga, ten years from now (I hope). To all the Twilight-haters out there (and yes, I am a proud member of that group): Let the sparkling vampires have their moment, and allow all the pubescent tweeners mind-frig themselves silly to Robert Pattinson and Taylor Lautner. Later on in life, they'll come to the same conclusion that the rest of us knew right off the bat: 'God, that franchise sucked!'

Late Edit: When teen queen Miley Cyrus thinks the Twilight franchise sucks, you know it's only a matter of time before all the tweeners (i.e. the most fickle demographic on Gods green earth) wake up and get wise to the con job.

In the midst of tragedy, rationality must prevail

The events that unfolded at Ft. Hood in Texas are no doubt, a tragedy. We now know the culprit, Maj. Nidal Malik Hasan, a 39 year-old Army psychiatrist shot and killed 13 men in uniform and injured over 30 others. We also know that various U.S. government agencies knew this guy was off, but sat on their asses anyway. And just today, President Obama made the trip to talk to and grieve with the families of the Ft. Hood victims. But one huge aspect that, I feel, is being lost in the new cycle, is how some people are desperately trying to, in the face of great loss, quell the backlash the Muslim community is receiving because of one extremist's actions. General George Casey's voice on the subject matter, to me, spoke volumes on Meet The Press.

"I think those concerns are real, and I will tell you, David, that they are fueled based by the speculation based on anecdotal evidence that people are presenting. I think we have to be very careful with that. Our diversity, not only in our Army, but in our country, is a strength and as horrific as this tragedy was, if our diversity becomes a casualty, I think that’s worse."

Days after the shooting, one extremist's actions have ignited fear-mongering and hatred against Muslims in the military and the faith in general.

Let's be mindful of one thing: This man's action's are both deplorable and condemnable, but his violet act does not speak for the vast ethos of the Muslim population and the Islamic faith, nor should it be taken that way in any context. These are sad and mournful times, but we must resist the worse angels of our nature to easily paint the bastard with the same brush of the normal, moderate people who practice the religion of Islam. To do so would only weaken our nation's resolve and creates hostilities between our own citizens.

As Chris Martin sang once before: "Give me love over lies / love over lies."