We Are Never Ever Getting - Shut The Hell Up!

For the record, I don't hate the country-pop superstar known as Taylor Swift. I respect and admire that she writes her own songs, plays her own music, she supports LBGT issues, and the fact she built up her fan base via social networking sites. I understand her appeal: she's pretty, but not supermodel hot; her doey-eyed optimism and young girl angst makes her easy to relate to. Swift is the girl next door that your mother would be proud to call her mother-in-law if you ever had the good sense to look past the hotness factor and see the radiant and mature woman that she is. She hasn't fallen into the trap of transforming from Ms. Innocent into an over-sexualized Britney Spears clone, and for that, we are all very thankful that young girls still have an idol to look up to in an age where too few of said idols are around. And I think we can all say we were on the Swift bandwagon after Kanye stormed the stage saying that Swift didn't deserve the award for Best Female Video at the 09 MTV VMA's. We all wanted to give Swift a big ol' hug when it was reported that she was crying furiously after West ruined her big moment, and give West - and his ego - a nice, hard kick in the ass.

Unfortunately, overexposure and her stunted growth as a recording artist have swallowed up most of the goodwill she received after Kanye-gate, and to an extension, the last three years. Most of her songs, from "Fifteen", "You Belong With Me", "Teardrops On My Guitar", "Speak Now" and "Back To December" all deal with either one of the following themes:  Her having a crush on a boy, experiences in high school, or a breakup with a boy. How many times can an artist return to the same drinking well before that baby is tapped out completely, or when does it reach a point where people just get sick of hearing the same song over and over again and tune her out.

Apparently, not anytime soon, as Swift has released her new single, "We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together" from her fourth LP, Red due out next month, and as I speak, it is now the no.2 song on Billboard's Top 100 charts. What makes Taylor's latest break-up anthem insufferable to listen to? Well, ladies and gentleman: she's officially sold herself out.

Let me explain: despite Swift falling back on themes of first love, teenage angst, and bad breakups, I'll admit there was a certain sincerity to the songs; you felt that she had a true connection to the words and lyrics she crafted, despite how annoying and overplayed Swift eventually became. "We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together", by contrast, sounds like something that was written by studio hacks; it's the kind of soulless, yet highly polished, bubblegum track that sounds almost nothing like the artist that sings it. But it's not just the predictable hooks or the fact Swift ditches her signature Folk/Country sound for the bland, already-been-chewed, slickness that is pop music, it's the lyrics themselves which make the song even worse than it already is.

As you might have guessed by the title, Taylor is involved in yet another failed relationship (breakup no. 28, if you're keeping score at home), but this time, after all the drama and bullshit she's been through with this guy, she's finally (like, for real this time) ending it with him.

Wait....what?



Now that we've all had time to digest this song (and if somehow the chorus and this line, "You go talk to your friends, talk to my friends, talk to me," gets stuck in your dome, I suggest you avoid all top 40/pop music stations for the next few days and drown it out with Radiohead's The King of Limbs), you may have spotted some problems within the song. Let's discover them together, shall we?

I remember when we broke up the first timeSaying this is it, I've had enough, 'cause likeWe haven't seen each other in a monthWhen you, said you, needed space (what?)

A month? Seriously? I'm no expert on relationships, but if a guy wants space and doesn't see you for a month, chances are he's either moved on from the relationship, or he's playing you like a fiddle, in which case, you had every right to dump his ass and probably don't need him around!

Then you come around again and sayBaby, I miss you and I swear I'm gonna changeTrust me, remember how that lasted for a day?

I'm not sure what I find more sad and pathetic: the fact you still took him back when he basically said 'Sweety, i've changed my ways, for reals this time, and I wanna be with you forever, promise baby!' (or most commonly called, a man's lie), or the fact that it took less than 24 hours for the boy to fall back into old habits. Again, i've never had a girlfriend before, but I doubt that it takes this long for anyone to fall back into old, destructive habits that doom a relationship! This is more of a caricature than a supposed mystery ex from Taylor's love life.

Oooh we called it off again last nightBut Oooh, this time I'm telling you, I'm telling youWe are never ever ever getting back togetherWe are never ever ever getting back togetherYou go talk to your friends talkTo my friends talk to meBut we are never ever ever ever getting back together
Like ever...

Taylor, your valley girl accent doesn't make this song witty, more upbeat, or catty, it makes this song more annoying than it already is. The valley girl accent didn't make Ke$ha any more tolerable, it got really repetitive when Alicia Silverstone played a Cher Horwitz-clone in the animated series Braceface and hearing girls (it wasn't just regulated to white girls, let me tell you) talk in that holier-than-thou, smug sense of superiority over everyone else all through my high school experience reminds me of a person taking a rusty nail and scraping it across the chalkboard. It's not cute, it really makes me want to slit my throat.

I'm really gonna miss you picking fightsAnd me, falling for a screaming that I'm rightAnd you, will hide away and find your piece of mind with some indie record that's much cooler than mine

I'm having a hard time buying Taylor Swift listening to any indie records, unless she's confused  Drake or Nicki Minaj as being apart of the indie scene in music. I'm skipping over the second chorus because you don't want to hear it again, much less see it again in this review. Next part!

I used to think, that we, were forever ever everAnd I used to say never say never

You want to know a good way of making a song even more insufferable? Pour on more aggravating, girly catch phrases that should have died out at the end of the 90's. Hell, the coffin should have been slammed shut and buried six feet under when "reality TV" shows like Laguna Beach and The Hills finally came to a close!

Huh, he calls me up and he's like, I still love youAnd i'm like, i'm just, I mean this is exhausting, you knowWe are never getting back together, like ever

SHUT UP!!!

My God, I don't think i've ever encountered a song this terrible, this aggressive in letting the listener know that Taylor Swift, the good country girl who writes optimistic and heartfelt, yet overplayed teenage ballads, has become a shameless sellout with this already-been-chewed pop song that we've heard waaaay too many  times before! And you want to know the really sad part about this song? There's a better song out there that deals with a woman kicking her no-good douchebag of a boyfriend to the curb:



Say what you will about Beyonce, but when she says, "I can have another you in a minute / matter fact, he'll be here in a minute", I believe her. She's got the attitude and the forcefulness this song calls for, and does it fairly easily, too. Taylor Swift's attempts at being peppy, witty and bashing her loser ex come off as "not over it" written all over her face. Her newest single will probably please the fans who like this sort of "boys suck!" anthem, but to everyone else, this cookie-cutter pop song will leave you feeling empty and disappointed.

crazy eye. crazy musical genius. crazy dancer.

My second love, Radiohead, have come out with their 8th studio album, The King of Limbs, and this is their new single, "Lotus Flower". Simply awesome.

My generation sucks

That there
That's not me

I go
Where I please
Radiohead, "How To Disappear Completely"

People keep telling me that every generation had its share of pop culture bullshit. But how can they explain the nonsense that's been going on the last few years: Taylor Swift winning Album of the Year at the 2010 Grammys after Kanye West couldn't keep his big-ass ego in check for one night. A mediocre series of novels is hailed by millions of their fans as the heirs to the brilliance of J.K. Rowling's Harry Potter saga, then become blockbuster movies that appeal to fickle-headed teenage girls who want their dream boyfriends to be sparkly (quite literary), Prince Harry-like handsome, and share sentiments that their life sucks (even though their higher middle-class and come to school decked out in Abercrombie & Fitch gear). Musical heroes aren't what they used to be: we had pioneers like Kurt Corbain, Tupac, Michael Jackson, to name a few, who we idolized, almost religiously, but now heroes consist of manufactured pop schlock like Miley Cyrus, the Jonas Bros., and Justin Bieber. And every generation had its share of fame-seeking, attention whores looking for their 15 minutes, but if they could see what Perez Hilton, Heidi Montag and Paris Hilton will do to keep their names in the tabloids, even they would agree that those freaks are going too far. In my generation, apparently, good taste is hard to come by.

Taylor Swift - the voice of a generation!? Bullshit!!!!

When Taylor Swift performed with Fleetwood Mac at the Grammys on Sunday, she - for all intentional purposes - sucked.



Now, she's taking heat for it, as she should - it wasn't a good performance at all. In comes Swift's record company, dubbing her, the "voice of a generation."

“I think [the critics] are missing the whole voice of a generation that is happening right in front of them. Maybe they are jealous or can’t understand that,” Borchetta said, “but obviously the people that she talks to are engaged with her. No one is perfect on any given day. Maybe in that moment we didn’t have the best night, but in the same breath, maybe we did,”

Voice of a generation?
Voice of a generation!?
Bullshit!!!!!!

Radiohead, U2, Coldplay, Eminem, Springsteen, Jay-Z, etc.....those are bands and artists who spoke to me and many others in this generation! Taylor Swift was fortunate to have Kanye West act like his dickish self and make her America's Sweetheart overnight! It's the main reason why she won Album of the Year! Without the outburst, she's just another tweener-bopper with a hit record.

Don't elevate this flavor-of-the-month garbage with that of Bob Dylan, or John Lennon, or The Boss, or Thom Yorke.....real artists who changed the face of music as we know it.

Dear Kanye West

Dear Kanye,

When you lashed out on poor country-pop superstar Taylor Swift at the MTV VMA's last year, you had pretty much cemented yourself as the world's biggest jackass. Like an uncle we expect to get drunk and make a scene at Thanksgiving dinner every year, your proclamation that "Beyonce had one of the best videos of all time!" was somewhat expected, because if you don't win for something (or in this case, the person you were pulling for doesn't win something), the world must stop for you and listen to how royally rat-fucked....again.

Then again, when you've made three critically acclaimed rap albums (The College Dropout, Late Registration, and my personal favorite Graduation), and earned your place as one of the best MC's to rock a microphone, then I guess you have every right to bitch and moan about how you've become music's version of Scorsese (let's be honest, you did get screwed over the last few years). Still, we all believed that your latest temper tantrum was the latest in people telling you to keep your ego in check and to shut the fuck up, and no harm would come from this.

That was, until last night, when Swift won sympathy votes from the Grammy voters for your outburst, and picked up the ultimate prize: Album of the Year.

Kanye, this could have all been avoided: your no-show at the Grammys this year, your dumbassery to steal the spotlight from Ms. Swift last year, the President of the United States himself calling you a jackass - all of this could have been avoided, if you had just kept your mouth shut. If you hadn't tried to make Taylor feel like crap onstage and make her America's sweetheart overnight, your girl Beyonce would have walked away with AOTY for I Am...Sasha Fierce. Now, we're stuck with this lovely, but awful live singer (let it be known that Swift and Fleetwood Mac don't mix).

Music today has become polluted with balls-less artists, marginally-talented teen queens and endless dance-club pop/hip-hop records, and I still consider you one of the best musical artists to come around in the new century. But you just gave Grammy the go-ahead to announce what we already knew to be the truth: huge record sales and mediocre talent talk, artists who put out quality work that pushes the genre and the industry as a whole can go straight to hell.

Thanks, Kanye.

Sincerly,
Jonathan Holmes

Shut the fuck up, Mr. West!

I love Kanye West. The College Dropout, Late Registration, and Graduation are all some of the best rap albums put out this decade, but after watching this interview, he just needs to shut the fuck up and come back down to earth.

This is some really weird shit

T-Pain and Taylor Swift have done a rap video. No joke. It's both jaw-dropping odd and funny at the same time.



Next collaboration in the works: Lil Wayne and Miley Cyrus. Or at least they're should be.

Super Awesome

I am a huge fan of the singer-songwriter Imogen Heap. Everything about her - from the music (a mix of electronica/alternative/Britpop) to her fashion sense - is completely unique and it feels original. She is easily the best female artists that you've never heard of, unless you've watched the final two-and-a-half minutes of Garden State. This year, after two years of vblogging (video blogging) sharing her journey on making here third album (fourth, if you count Frou Frou's Details), Heap is months away from releasing Ellipse to the U.S. And here's the cover to the album, which looks fantastic:



Basically, I can hardly wait.

The King of Pop has died.

This is fucked up. First First McMahon, then Fawcett, now Micheal Jackson.

We've just learned Michael Jackson has died. He was 50.

Michael suffered a cardiac arrest earlier this afternoon at his Holmby Hills home and paramedics were unable to revive him. We're told when paramedics arrived Jackson had no pulse and they never got a pulse back.

A source tells us Jackson was dead when paramedics arrived.

Once at the hospital, the staff tried to resuscitate him but he was completely unresponsive.

We're told one of the staff members at Jackson's home called 911.

La Toya ran in the hospital sobbing after Jackson was pronounced dead.

Michael is survived by three children: Michael Joseph Jackson, Jr., Paris Michael Katherine Jackson and Prince "Blanket" Michael Jackson II.

The man had his personal demons, but no one can deny that his presence changed the face of music forever. I can remember when I was just a child when Michael was still huge in the early to mid 90's. The world of rock-n-roll has lost a legend, and he will be missed by everyone who loved his music, worshiped his moves, or was inspired to follow in his footsteps.

Long live the King of Pop.

The Shins - Wincing the Night Away

Die-hard fans of The Shins, the New Mexico indie rock gods who hit it big with their 2001 debut, Oh, Inverted World, and followed up with, Chutes Too Narrow two years later, but best known for their musical appearances in Zack Braff’s independent hit, Garden State, have said that their new album, Wincing the Night Away, is a disappointment. Fair point, to an extent. Wincing is nowhere near the genius of Chutes or the freshness of Inverted World. To that end, I say to all the disappointed Shins fans, what were you expecting, another Chutes II? Get over yourselves.

What band members James Mercer (lead singer, songwriter, guitarist) , Martin Crandall (bassist) , Dave Hernandez (bassist/guitarist) , and Jesse Sandoval (drummer) have lost in the first two albums, they have gained in developing a new sound that pays off in the long run. Take the opening song in the album, Sleeping Lessons, a triumph of originality, where the band experiments with psychedelic Hawaiian tones, a minute of keyboard tones, and Mercer’s vocals. All the combining elements work like a hypnotic dream. Another example is Sea Legs, where hip-hop is fused with the indie pop/rock melodies. Again, the boldness in melodies works like a charm.

Each of the songs on Wincing are catchy and easy to listen to, but it’s Phantom Limb and A Comet Appears that are the gems of this rich album. In a interview with Billboard.com, Mercer described Phantom as “a hypothetical, fictional account of a young, lesbian couple in high school dealing with the shitty small town they live in,”. Mercer feels for the two girl’s problem of dealing with a town that doesn’t understand, let alone, accept them, and we do as well. The second gem is the last song on the album, A Comet Appears, where you can imagine Mercer picking up a guitar in the middle of the night, singing about all the sins he’s committed that still eat at him. It’s a haunting song that rivals New Slang, Caring is Creepy, and Know Your Onion as one of their best songs.

As I said earlier, Shins fans are pissed that they opted to experiment with a new sound, instead of returning with their lo-fi harmonies that made them a hit. To hell them, I say. In a summer music season that has it’s teeny-bopper crap anthem in Avril Lavigne’s Girlfriend, bound to have it’s overly played on the radio R&B hit, and equally nauseating emo rock bullshit, I’ll gladly take The Shins new sound over the sea of mediocrity any day of the week.



**** stars out of *****

Most. Annoying. Song. Ever.

Confession: I used to be a fan of Avril Lavigne.

You heard me. I used to be a fan of the punk-rock chick from Canada. I liked "Complicated" and "Sk8er Boi". Shit, I even have her first album "Let Go". I used to love to rock out to her music, mostly cause i'm a fan of rock.

Then, she did a 180 and came out with her second album.......which I though was OK. It was more along the lines of Alanis Morissette in terms of the album(which is no "Jagged Little Pill" by any stretch of the imagination).

After Avil's last album, that was when I started listening to REAL artists.

I was reconnected to the Red Hot Chili Peppers through "Stadium Arcadium", I became addicted to The Shins with their sub-pop/mellow songs and melodies, I became a Coldplay fan through their last album "X & Y", with my growing anger over the Bush Administration and the war, I was steered to great protest bands and artists such as Green Day and Neil Young, and thanks to the power of YouTube, I became a fan of the most original female singer i've heard: Imogen Heap.

And after a few years, Avril Lavinge returned........only this time, I listened to her new summer anthem, "Girlfriend" and found out that it was total crap.



The video was one cruel joke/illogical fantasy after another.

Ex. #1: the choice in girls the dude in the video he has to make: the spoiled, stuck-up, ditzy redheaded nerd...........or the overly aggressive, man-stealing punk chick? Add to that, all the bullshit drama he'll have to eventually put up with from either one of these girls? In reality, no sane guy in their right mind would chose either one of these girls!

Ex. #2: i'm sorry, but I missed the part where it's funny and entertaining to wreck havoc on a couple's date. Shit, halfway through the song the couple (or at least the girlfriend) would call security and have the punker chick and her friends thrown out of the damn mini-golf facility, which brings me to........

Ex. #3: mini golf? That's where you would take your date? Seriously?

The worst part of the whole experience is that i'm going to be hearing that damn song all summer long!!!!!!

I guess my who point was to show my progress from Avril - likeable cotton candy fluff - to listening to artists with real talent.

As the masses will be singing Avril's summer anthem, I will be spending my time with The Shins and any other artists or bands that blows my way.

P.S. to Avril - look, it was fun the first time around, but I have changed, and you continue to put out the same teeny-bopper crap I foolishly fell for. It's over.