2008 Summer Movie Preview - Part Two

Here's the long-awaited second installment of the good, the bad, and the blah that major movie studios will cram down our throats this summer. Enjoy!

July Movies:

Hancock (July 2) - Look, up in the sky! It’s a bird! It’s a plane! It’s…..Will Smith as superhero/alcoholic Hancock who’s hated by everyone in L.A.! Think of this as The Incredibles, but with a darker, comedic twist. As with I Am Legend, Bad Boys II, Shark Tale, and just about every other movie he’s starred in, look for him to make a killing at the box office.

Hellboy II: The Golden Army (July 11) - Rumor has it after the critical acclaim for 2006’s Pan’s Labyrinth, director Guillermo del Toro turned down directing Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince to helm the second Hellboy movie (the job was awarded back to David Yates who did Order of the Phoenix). Bummer. He would have shot the hell out of that movie, but I digress. Ron Perlman returns as the bright-red demon ready to take on more demon-monsters. Not much is known about this sequel but if you’ve watched Pan’s Labyrinth, then you’ll know that moviegoers are in for a visual treat.

Meet Dave (July 11) – Here it is, folks: the grade ‘A’ pile of crap in an otherwise impressive resume of potential summer blockbusters. Eddie Murphy plays – wait till you hear this – an alien starship in the form of a human being which crews miniature aliens. Does this sound even remotely interesting to you? Worst of all, it’s directed by Brian Robbins, the man who unleashed 2007’s most offensive, mean-spirited comedy, Norbit. Stay away…stay far away from this mess.

The Dark Knight (July 18) - The movie event I have been personally waiting for. Director Christopher Nolan, who added soul and a darker presence in 2005’s Batman Begins, is back at the helm, along with the underrated Christian Bale as the Caped Crusader. What’s in store for Bruce Wayne this time? Two new foes; the first being Rachel Doss’ (now played by Maggie Gyellenhaal) new lover and district attorney for Gotham Harvey Dent (Aaron Eckhart), the other, a psychotic serial-killing clown, Joker (played by the late, great Heath Ledger). A new Batsuit, the Batpod, and in IMAX theatres, four action scenes, all scream awesome but the attraction is Ledger, both his passing in January and his performance which critics are calling Oscar-caliber. A fitting tribute to one of our generation’s finest actors who left us too soon.

The X-Files: I Want to Believe (July 25) - What paranormal mystery will FBI agents Mulder (David Duchovny) and Scully (Gillian Anderson) uncover this time? Chris Carter, the director and co-writer of this sequel, as well as the show’s creator, will never tell. So why should we give a damn? The show ended six years ago and the last movie was a decade ago. Because it’s the return of Mulder and Scully, two of the 90’s most memorable TV icons, that’s why!

August Movies:

Pineapple Express (August 8) – You can add Seth Rogen – yes, Seth Rogen – to the growing list of actors who will be kicking some butt this summer for our viewing pleasure. He and James Franco are two stoners who are after a new form of marijuana called Pineapple Express; unfortunately they are witnesses to a murder by the hands of a corrupt cop and are on the run. The Apatow team, who created last summer’s Superbad, is involved in the reefer madness. A bit of advice: If you want to know how funny this black stoner action/comedy is, watch the red-band trailer on You Tube.

Tropic Thunder (August 15) – The fact that Iron Man’s Robert Downey Jr. is playing a multiple Oscar-winning actor Aussie who had his skin surgically pigmented to play an African-American Marine in the jungles of Vietnam, shows that either this will be this summer’s most outrageous piece of satirical filmmaking, or the most offensive. Ben Stiller returns to the director’s chair (Zoolander) to take aim at the absurdity of the movie business, dealing with three ego-driven actors – Tug Speedman (Stiller), Jeff “Fats” Portnoy (Jack Black), and Kirk Lazarus (Downey Jr.) - driven to make a serious war film about the Vietnam War, only to be fighting real guerilla warfare as the shoot progresses.

Star Wars: The Clone Wars (August 15) - Remember when George Lucas said he'd quit making epic space operas in a galaxy far, far away after Revenge of the Sith? Well, he's come back after prettyboy Hayden Chirstensen burned to a near-cinder and donned the mask of baddie Darth Vader, to bridge together Attack of the Clones and Sith. Good news is that Lucas wisely stayed away from the director's chair and from screenwriting duties. Bad news is that I still wouldn't pay money to watch this.